Childhood Friend of the Zenith Novel MTL - Chapter 989

Chapter 989

I was meant to be a catastrophe.

For a long moment, I could not move.

That small tree was the Divine Tree.

That my soul had been warped until I consumed the Divine Fruit.

That my distorted, adrift soul had only found its anchor after eating it.

Everything was staggering.

But ultimately, the most staggering revelation was that I was destined to become a disaster.

‘…So this is it.’

Was this the conclusion everything had been building toward?

The words spoken by Yeon Ilcheon.

Everything I had endured in Zhongyuan.

Even my regression itself—was it all the world’s design?

‘…And my mother, too?’

So, my mother had not come to Zhongyuan as a catastrophe.

‘She came to plant one.’

The idea that she had come to leave behind the true disaster—

I could not comprehend it. My thoughts went utterly silent.

Why would the ruler of Mangye annihilate Zhongyuan only to supplant it?

A disaster is one who has lost their world and now acts to claim another.

My mother already ruled Mangye, yet she appeared in Zhongyuan.

I had once believed it was because of another ruler, Abyssal Pit.

‘…But if she wasn’t here to become a disaster, but to create one—’

Then it all made a terrible sense.

And that was precisely why it was so unbearably maddening.

If this was the truth—if this was the answer—then it was utterly insane.

“Damn it…!”

Boom!

The ground fractured under my fist.

The raw force of my emotion, fused with my cultivation, pulverized the earth like soft tofu.

“Hell.”

I wanted to reject it.

I needed it to be a lie.

I prayed it wasn’t true.

‘…Damn it all.’

But I could not deny it.

The reality of the circumstances would not permit it.

The life I had lived up to this point would not allow it.

A regression forced onto me?

The unknown entities rooted in my body?

The events that kept unfolding against my will?

None of that was important.

What was important was—

‘Even if I refuse to believe, there is nothing I can change.’

I could pound the earth and scream my denial until my voice gave out, and nothing would be different.

I knew that.

Which meant I had to accept it, and quickly, and find a path through it.

That was how I had survived until now.

My mind was already straining to devise a solution—

‘…Shut up, you bastard.’

The fact that I could still force myself to be rational in this situation was pitiful beyond description.

Did I really have to be like this, even now?

‘…Even after learning I am fated to be a disaster?’

I had no time for sorrow.

No time for rage.

Even now, I had to keep pushing forward?

‘What in hell am I supposed to do?’

After coming all this way, what was left for me?

I had vowed to surpass Cheonma, to defeat the Blood Demon.

‘But if this is true, then I am a greater threat than either of them.’

If I am destined to be Zhongyuan’s catastrophe—

Then am I not more dangerous than Cheonma or the Blood Demon?

“Haha…”

A laugh escaped me on its own.

It was so absurd I could not help it.

“This is… This is utterly ridiculous.”

I raised my hand to strike the ground again—

But I stopped myself.

“What in the world am I doing…?”

I felt vacant.

Completely, utterly hollow.

I had been running forward without ever stopping.

I had fought with my stubborn will, driving myself through every barrier.

Even when I wanted to quit, I had obstinately persevered.

And yet—

“What have I…”

What had I been doing all this time?

Crack.

My fist clenched so hard my bones protested.

My thoughts were still slow, unable to process anything clearly.

Only my emotions churned violently, twisting around me.

A disaster?

I am to be the disaster?

Those words echoed relentlessly in my skull.

‘Why me?’

Why in hell does it have to be me?

After all I have been through.

After all I have endured since my regression began.

‘…I might be the source of it all?’

The very thing I need to stop—

might not be another,

but myself.

Then what should I do?

If I am truly destined to become a disaster—

‘Should I just die?’

Would it all end if I died?

If it is that simple, should I kill myself now?

I dragged a hand through my hair.

“…Damn it.”

The curse left my lips instinctively.

Dying?

I am not afraid of that.

I passed the point of fearing death long ago.

But—

Something else frightens me.

The faces I would never see again.

The things I can no longer let go of.

The reasons that force me to move, that drive me forward with such brutal resolve.

The thought of those things—

I realized I could not choose death so easily.

“…This is insane.”

I let out a bleak, empty laugh.

And then, suspicion crept in.

“…Don’t tell me. Is this also part of the plan?”

What if even this moment—

even this state I am in—is all part of the world’s design?

Everything feels suspect.

If my current self is merely a piece in someone else’s scheme, then what is the point of any of it?

“…Ah.”

A deep weariness washed over me.

I know absolutely nothing.

“…Mother.”

I whispered the word softly, a question held within it.

What were you trying to accomplish?

Was leaving me behind as a disaster truly your only purpose?

‘Then why did you twist my soul?’

Noya said my twisted soul had let me evade my destiny.

That it had pulled me away from the path to becoming a disaster.

Then why—

‘Why now?’

Why had she made me eat the Divine Fruit now?

Yarang had been the one to feed it to me, but both Noya and I believed my mother’s will was behind Yarang’s actions.

Noya said—

If she restored my soul now,

it meant she had a purpose.

That a path exists.

Hearing that had helped me steady my breathing.

But staying there…

Remaining in that place was intolerable.

So I left, almost fleeing.

I did not leave Mount Hua entirely.

I just found a spot some distance from the Divine Tree and sat alone.

I knew perfectly well that Noya or the turtle could find me without any trouble.

But I was sure they would not come.

Because they understood—

that I needed this time.

Crunch.

As if my hands needed to be busy, I kept tearing weeds from the soil.

Tens of thousands of thoughts crashed together, making idleness impossible.

‘If I am fated to become a disaster…’

Does that mean I am destined to become Zhongyuan’s ruler?

If so, it means I will eradicate all life and take the place of the former ruler, Muah.

‘…How?’

If I were to erase everything, how would it happen?

By brute force, like the Blood Demon?

Or by some other means?

At the very least, I have no such desires now.

I have no wish, no intention of becoming a disaster.

If that is a cause for hope, then perhaps… it is.

‘Noya could be wrong.’

As infallible as Noya seems, could he not be mistaken, just this once?

I clung to that faint sliver of hope.

“……”

I stopped thinking and scrubbed my hands over my face.

I rubbed it dry, then did it again and again.

“…Ah.”

What am I supposed to do?

What in hell am I supposed to do now?

What does the world want from me?

I don’t know.

And that makes it all the more suffocating.

My hands were shaking.

I bit down on my trembling fingers.

A thin line of blood welled up and trickled down.

Even knowing I had broken the skin, I bit down harder.

‘Get a hold of yourself.’

This is not the time for this.

I must pull myself together.

I have to find a way.

I cannot afford to stay like this.

I need to think of an answer.

Even if nothing comes to mind—

I must force myself to find one.

Because that is what I have always done.

And that is what I must do now.

‘What do I do? Assume Noya is right and plan from there? If so, what is the plan? How do I escape this fate? How do I break free?’

Question after question.

A cycle of futile thinking.

The endless repetition began to corrode my mind.

Gnaw, gnaw.

I kept chewing on my fingers, the metallic taste of blood filling my mouth.

There was pain, but I ignored it and kept biting.

‘What if I truly become a disaster? If I turn into one and must kill them all? Then shouldn’t I distance myself? Should I just remain here—’

I was sinking.

Slowly, I was crumbling under the weight of my own thoughts.

And then—

Swish.

Someone gently took my hand, stopping me from biting my fingers any further.

Startled by the sudden touch, I flinched.

Flick!

I jerked my hand back and turned in shock—

“…Ah.”

“…You.”

The one who had taken my hand was Cheonma.

When had she gotten here?

I had been so consumed by my turmoil I had not sensed her approach.

As I stood frozen, confused, Cheonma stepped closer and took my hand again.

Blood was still dripping from it.

“…Are you all right?”

She asked, her voice carrying a note of concern.

I scowled.

“This doesn’t concern you.”

With my emotions in shreds, I could not control my tone.

The words came out in a snarl.

“…I’m in no state to talk to you. Just go away.”

“……”

Even as I spat the words, as always, Cheonma did not move.

The only difference was that her expression was not as unreadable as it usually was.

‘Something’s… different today.’

Her normally detached eyes were not so indifferent.

There was a faint light in her gaze, a subtle shift in her expression—

A hint of something that looked almost like a smile.

‘Am I seeing things?’

Is my current state making me imagine things?

The fleeting thought crossed my mind—

And then she spoke.

“…Are you struggling?”

“…What?”

“You look like you are having a difficult time.”

I pressed my lips together.

“Oh? And what, are you going to comfort me now?”

The words dripped with sarcasm.

Like a fool.

Like a complete and utter fool.

“Don’t interfere where you aren’t wanted. And don’t start thinking we’re close just because we’ve traveled together.”

I was drowning.

I was lashing out like a trapped beast.

I knew how pathetic it was.

I knew exactly how repulsive this display was.

But I could not stop myself.

“I’ve told you before—I find you utterly repul—”

Before I could finish, my face was gently pulled forward.

Straight into her embrace.

“…What—?!”

I was about to shout at her, furious, to demand what she thought she was doing.

But—

“…It is all right.”

“……”

“It is all right.”

I went still.

A hand patted my back softly.

“…It is all right. It is all right.”

It was not some empty, poetic consolation.

She was just saying it.

And yet—

Even though the one saying it was the person I hated most—

Even though it was Cheonma—

Perhaps…

Perhaps I had just needed something—

someone—

to lean on.

So I stayed silent.

I just stood there without speaking.

“…It is all right.”

That was why—

“You have always done well.”

Her tone—

It was completely different from usual.

Bzzzz…

Within the hand that stroked my back, there was an unfamiliar energy.

But in that moment—

I failed to perceive it.

“…So it is all right.”

“……”

I did not pull her closer.

I did not weep into her embrace.

I did not do anything that foolish.

I just stood still.

I simply remained silent.

That was the most I could manage.

By the time I finally began to sense that something was amiss—

By the time I slowly drew back from Cheonma’s embrace—

“…Farewell.”

Her expression had already returned to its usual detached state.